Pain Management

The day my dog Buffy died, I shut down.


It was a summer afternoon and I was playing in the front yard.  My dog had decided a few weeks before that he would be able to catch a car tire if he tried hard enough.  He was persistent even though we yelled at him.  I'm pretty sure he would not have known what to do with it if he caught it.


A teenage guy in a jeep hit him.  I looked up as Buff flew through the air and then I ran over screaming as my dog lay in the middle of the road.  He was taking his last few breaths as he died in my arms.  I cried really hard.  It still hurts to think about it.


I don't remember ever wanting a dog again.  Even now, as my son is getting older, I think about him having a dog.  Every little boy needs a dog.  But I don't want him to have one because I don't want him to experience his dog dying.  I want to shelter him from the pain of losing something he loves.  So if I can shelter him...and me...from ever loving, then I can shelter him from the pain of losing.


That sounds healthy enough doesn't it?  Don't engage in relationships because if you do, you might get hurt.  


In my current life, I am planting a church.  I hear from smart people that this kind of thing is a strain on relationships.  "People who start with you don't stay with you," they always say.  I begin to posture so that when it happens, I can be numb to the pain.  It feels like getting a dog.  


I need hope in the gospel so that I am free to invest in people in spite of the pain and disappointment. 


And I think we need a dog.  

Waving At The Bus

Now that I am a dad, I can appreciate the fact that as my son gets older, I will become more and more of a dork.

In Utah, one dad is taking "dork" to a completely new level.  His 16 year old son's school bus comes back by their house every morning.  So Dale decided to stand outside one morning and dressed up in a San Diego Chargers jersey and helmet. Each morning of this school year, he has been creative in waving at his son and his friends.

You can read about the rest here.

(via Mark Ostreicher)

Jesus Storybook Bible

Bradens's bedtime routine is one of my favorite times of the day.  After he gets a cup of milk and his blanket, he climbs into our bed for a story from the Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones.  This is a tremendous resource for parents.  Every story from OT and NT whispers Jesus' name and points to Him as the hero of the BIG STORY. I highly recommend it as a parent who has been reading it to him from before he was born.

You can look at a sample of the book here.

You can get it HERE. 

Healing and Restoration

The tornadoes that went across the southeast on April 27th were some of the most destructive in over 50 years.

Here is a story in the New York Times today about Southern Baptist Disaster Relief teams.  I am proud to have worked with some of these folks following Hurricane Wilma in 2005.  Good people doing good work and partnering with organizations to bring restoration to hurting people.

You can give to their efforts here.

I'm Back

After some time hanging out with the folks over at typepad, I decided to come back to my blogger account.  That may or may not have to do with the fact that my church was paying for the blog over there and I am not going to pay for a blog myself.

I actually am looking forward to writing again.

A Day In The Courthouse...

Last week I was thinking a lot about the area in which we live and the opportunities we have to live missional, loving lives around people who hurt. To be honest, South Florida is a place where people live who 1) are getting away from something or 2) think that they have no other option for opportunity and a better life. It makes it hard because if you aren't fluent in "crazy" you have a hard time making it through many conversations.

I met this guy Sunday who was going through a lot. He was facing a court hearing the next day and was scared of the outcome. He is a young black man with a wife and 3 kids (with one on the way). As he sat in my office coming to grips that Jesus was all he had, he began to ask me if I could make sure that someone looked after his family if something happened to him. Did you catch that. Here is a guy who blindly asked the church (defined here as a local gathering of Jesus followers) if they would sacrificially live in such a way that the least of these would be loved and cared for.

I'm not sure about everyone else, but some things take me a while. Although there are endless possibilities to show love, it seems that this one actually came to sit with his family and ask me point blank, "will you love us."

Trust me...I am a selfish person and I still spent time fighting the idea, but this is one that I couldn't pass up. I sat with the man and his wife for about 5 hours on Monday while we waited for his case to come up...together. It was pushed back for a few weeks, so for now, he is sitting at home with his family.

And I am sitting here convinced that those 5 hours of sitting on Monday were the best days of "real ministry" that I have experienced in a long time.

A Simple Apology

No really...I'm positive that all the pope needs to do is a simple "I'm sorry." I mean, does this look like a group that holds a grudge.

Note to Pope...you might not want to do it in person. These peaceful demonstrators might just rip you a new one.

Things I Miss...

There have been so many things that I have been considering over the past few weeks about the geopgraphy of ministry and what role family plays in it. Many mentors of mine would be quick to call me to a life of leaving (home, parents, friends) for the sake of the gospel and planting ourselves in a new place...which we have done these past 3 years. But most of those people live in the same town that they grew up in. I do find it odd that even Jesus had his family very close as he was calling his disciples to follow while leaving all others behind.

Please understand, these thoughts are coming from a very shallow motivation. This comes as I am sitting here watching Alabama football today in a quiet house. I called my brother, my dad and some of my friends and they all are hanging out in tailgating situations and I have to say it...this time of year, I miss being in Alabama.

But that isn't gonna stop me. I do have my good friends James Westfall and Dr. Kenneth Noisewater with me and I will do my part to pull the TIDE past Vandy.

ROLL TIDE!!!!!!!!

Loving and Ready

Mark 12:29-31 - Jesus says that the greatest commandment is to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength (I think that I kept that one about 15 minutes today).

The second greatest commandment is to love people (I think that one was much less).
I think that there is a link from the greatest to the next greatest.

I was thinking this morning of the times that I helped someone out. A couple of those were when I was driving down the road and saw someone with a flat tire and a look on their face that tells me that they have never changed a tire before. I have pulled over and tried to beat my personal best time in changing said tire and beating my personal best time (just under 4 minutes). A few other times I have helped someone move out of a house when they have just been evicted. I have even helped a couple of old ladies out now and then. One of the things that these have in common is that they are spontaneous acts that arise out of a perceived need.
And the problem is...these are the only things that come to mind.

This might sound funny coming from a pastor (or par for the course depending on your perspective). But most of the serving that I do is planned. Planned or not, giving and serving is THE life of a Jesus follower. I love being involved in planned acts of service. Whether it is a mission project, larger social action or teaching others about the same, they are acts of grace that we show to the world because of the grace given to us.

But I want more of the unplanned things. There is no doubt that there is need everywhere. I do not want to be so self consumed or agenda driven that I miss the God moments. I don't want to be like Jacob (the guy in Genesis) that woke one morning and had that sinking feeling that God was there the whole time and he didn't even know it.

I don't want love to be something that I plan to do, but I want love to be the driving force behind all I do, which causes me to be led by a love agenda.

Love Wins....

Baptists and Beer...or sipping saints

The outgoing president of the Southern Baptist Convention got a chance to write a farwell letter in a paper called the SBC LIFE. It gets put in my mailbox at the office every month, so I glance at it to see what category I am getting associated with currently. So you can imagine the look on my face to see the tone of this letter. Of all the things in the world that could be a problem...notice the theme. (The bold emphasis is mine...as well as the parenthetical comments).

A Word From Our Former President
June 27, 2006

Dear Southern Baptists!
Thank you a million times a million for the unspeakable privilege of serving you the last two years as president of the Southern Baptist Convention. While I earnestly plead for your continual prayers, please, please begin now to pray long and hard for our new president, Dr. Frank Page.

Recently I've been asked several questions from across the Convention which, in a fashion, summarizes these days.

"What came out of this year's meeting at Greensboro?"

While the Convention dealt with a number of important issues and items, it most definitely had several defining conclusions. There was a spirit of oneness and a unity of purpose as the Convention did, in fact, very enthusiastically reconfirm that the Great Commission and soul-winning evangelism are still the main thing for the SBC and that the Cooperative Program is the best way to collectively finance the cost of world evangelism.
Additionally, the Convention voted almost unanimously (actually...it was about 85 %) that they wanted pastors and people who are leading them not to be persons blinded by a theology that encourages and promotes drinking alcoholic beverages of any kind.

"Were there any surprises at the Convention?"

Oh yes! Undoubtedly, the greatest surprise to almost everyone was that several Southern Baptist pastors actually came to a microphone and publicly promoted the drinking of alcoholic beverages and wanted the SBC to do the same! Actually, I never thought I would see that take place, and it is not only a surprise but an outrage! My father was addicted to alcohol, which contributed to his early death. He advised me that if I would never take the first drink I would never end up like he did. I did not, and he was correct! (sounds like the problem was abuse...not use)

I understand one pastor's blog site indicates he believes his drinking assists him in soul-winning! What a pathetic joke! These blogging Baptist pastors just blew their collective cork! (terrible attempt at sarcasm)

From my vantage point, as presiding officer of the Convention, I took a slow and deliberate look at the number of ballots raised in support of such foolishness and comparatively, there was hardly anyone who was in favor of encouraging the use or promotion of the use of alcoholic beverages. In fact, the overwhelming voice and raised ballot vote made it clear that Southern Baptists do not want leaders that use or promote the use of any type of alcohol.
We have many outstanding young pastors and others on their way to leading this Convention to its greatest days, and they are smart enough to know they will not do it as "sipping saints," but as sober soul winners! (my only hope is to be as clever with my words) God help us to never, ever elect a user or promoter of the use of alcoholic beverages to any leadership position, and I am personally sorry and ashamed if we have any in those positions now! (are we all convinced that Jesus would have been able to be elected to a position in the SBC)

The next three months of our attempt to witness, win, and baptize one million is of large interest to many. Accelerate — Accelerate — Accelerate! Just as I urged on page 13 of the Convention program, we need to do a number of things to go all out these last three months: Have a revival, do another associational baptism rally, have a local one-day Crossover, conclude this church year with a major event centered upon reaching the lost and baptizing. In short, "Do all you can with all you have where you are ... NOW!"

The other most-asked question is, "What will Bobby Welch do after being president of the SBC and 'retiring' as pastor of First Baptist Church, Daytona Beach?"

My deep commitment to the Lord is to give the best of the rest of my life to multiplying soul winners to reach the world through the SBC. My quest is to see the Convention do MORE then ever before — MORE going and MORE giving! I plan to do this by encouraging MORE going and giving through state conventions, pastor's conferences, evangelism conferences, local churches, and association-wide meetings. Already a number of these are scheduled, and I am preparing to do all of these meetings I possibly can in the future.
By the work of Christ, you of the Southern Baptist Convention can win this world now!
To that end ...

With You In His Certain Victory!
Bobby Welch

I don't really care what your stance on alcohol is. I just wonder if there could be better, more encouraging use of an article that is going out to hundereds of thousands of people. I really think that it could have spent more time majoring on the majors. This sounds entirely self righteous...but then again, I guess I do too....

Welcome to another episode of adventures in missing the point.

And Sam...be nice.

Brad

What A Whore!!!!

Wow…that word makes me shudder. I think I like prostitute better. With that, I can put the object of the title somewhere in a dark alley in a city that I may never see with a heroin habit that is the root of her street walking. I like things that way because it makes me feel safer as look out my window at the golf course below. I try to avoid things that make me that uncomfortable. Yeah, no doubt, I like prostitute better. Or maybe even “loose living.” That is a better way.

But not whore. It is too dirty even for the streets, much less for my mind. The only people who use this word today are morons that you might see on an old Springer re-run or currently on any “who’s the daddy” episode of Maury (you would think we could expect more from Connie Chung’s other half). I am not sure where they even get these people, although I thought I have recognized them from time to time (maybe from family reunions…hope I didn’t hit on any of them).

But back on point, I don’t think that I am the only person that would quickly grab a thesaurus to find an alternative for “whore.” I don’t think that it would ever cross my mind to ever say it even if it was true.

This is how I usually think.

But something is different right now in my head. Sometime recently, this word began to mean something to me. When I look at it or say it, quietly, to myself, I feel something else. I am still uncomfortable with it, but I feel like it is more about me. It is like an identity that I don’t want to have or an identity that I don’t want others to know about me, but, it just feels right. Honestly, I sell myself a lot. Whoever and whatever will love me, pleasure me or satisfy me for a moment will get my attention. I have this feeling that I have been a whore for a long time and that maybe I am just realizing how dirty I really am.

For some time now, I have been enamored by a story in the Bible. It is about a guy named Hosea. God told Hosea to do something that seems really awkward at best. God told Hosea to marry a whore, love her no matter how much of a whore she is and then have a little whore family with her and spend their little whore lives together. And the crazy thing was, God wanted him to do this because He wanted Hosea to know what it was like to love someone who cheated on him all the time.

As I read this, I see me in the lines. I am a cheater. I cheat on God a lot. I am turned around and turned on by the things that promise much but pay little. God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him. Why is it that we are satisfied by too little?

“When infinite joy is offered us, [we are] like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slums because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." – C.S. Lewis

It Starts At 9:30

A few weeks back, on a Friday morning at 8:00, I got a call from a parent of a student. This makes me nervous because it usually involves a critique of plans and questions about how I plan to continue to raise their kids from the perspective of a thriving youth ministry. This one was different. This mom was just checking in on the activities of the day for the students. Then she mentioned something that she was encouraged about. Her daughter asked her if she could go to Mass on Sunday at First Baptist. In case you are not sure about this, Mass is a predominant catholic phrase that you don’t hear in protestant churches. As she said this, the same thing came to my mind that always does… “sorry lady, its worship service or gathering…not Mass.”
Let me interpret. I would like to think that I am don’t major on the minors but I still do. Just like this situation, I am 28. I think of myself as a part of the rebellion against ridiculous traditionalism and pharisaical ideology. Yet, to a degree, I still think like a Bible-belt fundamentalist. So when this woman, from her own tradition calls our worship service “Mass” then my first thought is, “sorry ma’am.”
But today, I see it differently. So here is my schedule for this week: Tuesday Night – Mars Hill High School; Wednesday Night – Mars Hill Middle School…

And Mass starts at 9:30...

That Florida Rain...

Tonight I am listening to a thunderstorm in the distance and soft raindrops on my window. I know that tomorrow, I will wake to the usual sunny skies and 90% humidity, but for now, I will take the soggy weather. It makes me feel like something new is happening.
This morning, I had the chance to teach (many call preach) at our gathering at First Baptist. I love it when pastor throws me a bone. I am the youth guy so most people view what I say through that lens. That means that I get away with things that most “pastors” would not. The feel of the talk was about JUSTIFICATION. That is a big word that basically means that somehow, through this thing called faith, God declares us not guilty in spite of all of our sinful rebellion. That is something that I have thought a lot about over the past few years. I am not sure what “system” of thought and theology that I fit in now. But I am really pumped about 2 Corinthians 5:21 – For God made Christ who knew no sin, to become sin for us, so that in Him we would become the righteousness of God. Basically, Christ gets my rebellious sin and I get all his righteousness and that is the basis for God accepting me. There is more…let me know if you are interested.

It was good seeing my brother this week. He is starting law school at Samford (Cumberland) this week. I think that he is going to make us all proud.

I hope things get back to normal in a few days. Summers as a youth guy are going to kill me.

A Terrible Game

Yesterday, I went with Brian Haring, Dwayne Mellor, Steve Saliba and a couple of other folks to Biddy Early (a brit pub/restaurant) to watch the US and Ghana play in their last game of the first round of the World Cup. Mind you, I have never really liked soccer except when I was in college and would go to the games at the University of Mobile. It was fun when I followed it all the time and I knew the people playing.

Over the past few weeks during the World Cup, I have watched a bit more now that ever. I love sports so it would be fun to see the international competition. But I was wrong.
After watching 2 games that the US played, I realizd that there was way too much hype about this team and the time is no where near soon when they will be able to compete on an international level. Not that they are totally terrible...they just have a few things against them. I will mention a few of my observations. Remember, as you read this, I do not claim to know hardly anything about the game.

First, they do not seem to be as athletic (faster to the ball) or aggressive about their play. This might be because the teams that they play are in danger of losing their lives if they lose the game. For America, a loss just means that they go home, for Ghana...they might be shot. Second, they cannot finish when they get in the box. Landon Donovan is supposed to the the great white hope and he hasn't scored in almost 20 games. That wouldn't be so bad in a game like soccer...unless that is what your position on the field required. Third, America gets up after a tackle. Unless they are truly injured, they will get back up. I saw 4 guys from Ghana being taken off of the field on stretchers. The problem was, 2 of them were never touched...they were just stopping play as time was running so that they could get the win.

I can deal with the low scoring...I can deal with the fact that that it seems impossible to move the ball and that there seems to be little strategy in the game that actually happens on the field during live ball action. What I cannot deal with is the fact that the game is so corrupt that what is happening on the field doesn't matter. I don't think that the US got a fair shake...but to some degree, I expect it. Yesterday, I didn't see a game of talent. I saw a game of whining, taking dives, crying, and a penalty shot that took a team out of a match.

Bottom line...it is a terrible game and I cannot believe that I spent 90 precious minutes to watch it. I can't wait till college football begins.

What I am trying NOT to be...

The caption to this picture in the SBC LIFE, is, "SBC president, Bobby Welch recreates the tortured scream from the rich man in hell as recorded in the Gospel of Luke, chapter 16."

Do you really have to be a cynic (like myself) to see that out of all the things that could have been printed with pictures, this get's front page?

In the article, he is quoted as saying, "(the current evangelism campaign) represent my heart's desire and soul-deep conviction that Southern Baptists everywhere, not only in North Carolina, must awaken to the Kingdom priorities of sharing the Gospel and baptizing believers as members of local Southern Baptist churches."

Isn't that called "landmarkism"?

Synopsis: a wealthy, white, megachurch pastor uses dramatic visual arts (wearing a great suit by the way) in his sermon that somehow must resemble hell and makes landmark staments that are loaded with "better-than-you" words and somehow...he is a hero to all conservative.

I don't know Bobby Welch. I am sure that he is a great guy. I don't understand how you can be so tied to a specific denomination that you equate "kingdom work" with ONLY Southern Baptist work. I might disagree with my methodist/presbyterian/etc friends on a few issues, but I constantly see these groups participate in kingdom work.

just my humble opinion though...

brad

P.S. For those of you that read this in its original form, I apologize for sounding so bitter.

Small Town vs South Florida

I remember when I lived in a small town and always complained that nothing ever happened and it was boring. Now I wake every morning and turn on the national news and hear stories like THIS on a daily basis. Welcome to South Florida...

Apparently, the guy has been going around posing as a doctor and gives "free breast exams" to women. After he tried to give a little more to one of the women, she thought, "this guy might be lying." I don't know what would make her think that though. I mean, if this guy came to my house and wanted to know if he could give me a free prostate exam, I would let him.

Note to all my female friends. I will NOT feel sorry for you if you fall for this.

I don't know who is more of a moron...the guy or the 3 women.

brad

Finished

This morning, we finished our Discipleship weekend with our students at FBC. We had 81 middle school and high school students that spent the weekend with us. They spent several hours in teaching and conversation about what God requires from His people when it comes to social action and justice in light of the gospel.

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, Sam Davidson was the speaker and he was a phenom. He is one of those guys who really understands the language gap between the traditional evangelical church, the emerging church and the culture in which we are called to exist and love. I appreciate his heart and it was good for me to be able to ask questions and learn.

I think that this was one of the best events that we have done in a while and I really did see that our students learned some truths that will be with them for a long time.

I recommend Sam for any event in which the focus is to educate people to the injustice and oppression around the world and what we are to do about it.

brad

Old People

Today I was talking with a couple of people about the phenom of old people in South Florida in the winter. This is really amazing. I mean that average age skyrockets in November and then plummets in the spring.

I do have to be careful though. I already had one episode this winter when an old man got out of his car and was yelling in my window...to which I got out and whipped his....kidding, I just got out and started calling him a crazy old man (which meant nothing because he only spoke Italian). Yesterday, I was at the gas pump and had walked away from a pump as it was running (I set that little lever that lets you pump without having to hold it...I hate it when pumps don't have that little thing). As I am on the phone, some old guy starts honking at me to tell me to move. I politely walked back to his car to let him know that I was making use of the handy little lever and was waiting on my tank to fill. At that point, he locked his car...real bold dude...honk and then lock your door so you don't have to actually deal with confrontation (or have me de-spiral that comb-over that you have spun on your melon). Anyway, I will be glad when he and his buddies go back to Pennsylvania/New York/Quebec/some other state that isn't good enough for them half of the year.

I think I might start a ministry to lovingly tell the combover guys that...well...we know... and so does Jesus and he loves them no matter what...

I am going to bed before I begin to sound bitter.

brad

Losing my mind......

The truth is, I might be accused of this several times before this weekend is over. It isn't the first time, but this is a little more dramatic.

As a pastor to students, I am always walking the fine line between programming for the traditional evangelical church and the calling that I have to be somewhat of a prophet in a culture that God has called me to minister within. The people pleaser in me wants to do things all nice and neat, but the progressive in me wants to push things over the edge. Of course, the latter wins out most of the time and I find myself in a place where I cannot compare what we do to anything else because it hasn't been done before...at least not successful enough to write a Christian bestseller about.

So I am 2 days away from the weirdest discipleship weekend that has ever been done in the history of a Southern Baptist Church. It is a weekend that will focus on God's calling for His people to care about social injustice and oppression....I mean real widows and orphans kind of stuff. Through small group and large groups sessions, we are going to study the ancient scriptures to see what it is that we are missing and what God calls us toward in action and love.

My leaders are shaken up, my kids do not have a clue, and I think that my new friend (and speaker for the weekend) Sam Davidson is a bit excited about the craziness of it all. We might crash and burn over this, but I have an idea that this is the type of "revival" that churches like ours have been looking for all this time. I am expecting HUGE things.

I will give updates on what happens.

Brad

Dog vs Porcupine

I mean for real...this is the most painful thing that I have ever seen...

Stupid dog...